The accidental comedy that is ‘Being Liverpool’ brings us insight into the current state of affairs at what was once the greatest Club in Europe, narrated in the hushed tones of reverence that Clive Owen brings to the show.
The humour is relentless, from the Porsche Panamera that Liverpool give to their new manager, the fabled Reading manager, who has resurrected his career with a short spell at Swansea, through to the gatemen at the Stadium who ‘know all the scally’s’.
It’s a study in sociology with David Brent slogans a plenty.
First Brendan Rodgers takes us to his home, a house that Hollywood would be proud of, a swimming pool inside a spacious modern residence fit for a King. With a black and white image of his own face in the background Rodgers introduces his family from the kitchen in which the fridge is larger than most people’s bedroom.
Clearly the King of his own castle he delivers the message to his subjects that his teams ‘play with style……and steel’ and we learn that to ‘before you achieve, you have to believe’, ‘you educate players, you train dogs’. It’s the stuff of legend and when he says ‘my biggest mentor is myself’ you realize you just might be in the presence of pure genius, I did say might be!
The documentary was clearly crafted to publicize the American ownership, and position Liverpool as a commodity in the US market, as the scenes at Fenway Park proved. The 2 teams owned by FSG together with TV cameras present, was like a topless celebrity on a Caribbean beach being caught on camera and published in Hello magazine just as their waning celebrity status needed a boost from images of their latest diet results. How lucky is that? How gullible are we?
Luckily reality, meaning the level of playing performance from the featured team brings some semblance of reality to this reality show as they continue to lose, proving that Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Featured stars like Charlie Adams and Andy Carroll show strongly only to depart before the show aired, while Fabio Borini (4 clubs in one season) and Joe Allen (the debate over his number was pure comedy gold) flit into the picture like footballing gods.
Jay Spearing drives us to his Wirral home, by pure luck passing his Dad who works on the Mersey Tunnel on a lovely day with his girlfriend and child (I’m sure nobody noticed the Liverpool irony of that arrangement) sit with his dog in their back garden on Do-it-all furniture. Contrast with Rodgers Palace and the hierarchy is as complete as the kick about at Lucas Leiva’s place prior to their multi-lingual monopoly game.
Ian Ayre just had to ride his Harley down the Dock Road to relax after a tough transfer window in which the show forgot to mention that they sold all their strikers except Luis Suarez, but luckily he was their best signing with an extended contract signed on TV.
With fans standing on rubbish bins (oh stop it with the ironic analogies), and Rodgers whistling at his students (oh no he does train them like dogs), thru to Dave Kirkby recounting days gone by with alcohol in hand, like a drunk remembering days of glory. The drama descending into farce and then comedy, the new version of The Office is now Being Liverpool.
I loved the scene where Jonjo Shelvey goes to see some kids on a rainy day, leaving them standing in the rain while a man holds an umbrella over his bald head. He stands above them by all measures, height, fame and money yet speaks like a kid off the streets in London, failing to absorb the words of Rodgers to ‘stay on your feet’ and getting sent off in their Cup Final as Rodgers era at Anfield means United have more points there this season than they do.
The documentary is compelling but not for its fly on the wall scenes like the lack of sound when they lose their opening game to West Brom 3-0, or the silent coach ride there and back, the torture expressed by Pepe Reina of having to sleep in luxury hotels instead of his own bed or the emotional history of Jamie Carragher. No, it’s the comedy of the narration, like a speech at a funeral, Clive Owen expresses the continued failure of the 70’s success like describing the career of Adam Ant. It’s over and no matter how much you hope it’s not coming back.
Being Liverpool might have seemed a good idea to John Henry when they agreed to make it, but frankly it just proves that the glory days have long gone but the humour of the people of Liverpool, who work for Liverpool still remains.
Football is just a game, and somehow the people in it have been elevated by economics to giants in society, but Being Liverpool shows us the reality that people like Spearing are just like us, they own dogs that look like them and they work for people like Rodgers who have never done it themselves but think that they know what it takes!
It’s all about money now, the Porsche and the pool can’t hide the fact that the Ford Mondeo that is the team can’t win the premiership race in the foreseeable future. This show will go down in history alongside Boys from the Blackstuff as a social commentary of its time, and for that it really is good for a laugh but not much else.
By Steve Burrows CBE @ifollowsteve
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