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What Will Happen This Month In The Premier League (August)

What with the Premier League finally getting underway today, stop what you’re doing for a moment or two and have a think about some events that no doubt could happen this month,. Of course most of them are just ‘jokey’ predictions, but just run with it m’kay.

The league will get of to a flyer with Jay ‘1-cap wonder’ Bothroyd scoring the first goal of the new season for QPR against Bolton today.  Rangers will be under pressure this season to stay in the division and despite getting off to a good start, Neil Warnock will be circled by Bernie, Vijay…oh sorry dark-entities all month and will no doubt face many questions about his future.

Expect the bookies to have already paid out on Norwich getting relegated especially after Delia Smith’s canaries lose their first 3 games. Mind you it won’t be so bad for the locals at Carrow Road as their new striker Steve Morison will hit the headlines for having one of the most stupidest squad numbers (5) of the season, which sadly might be the number of goals he may score all season.

After the transfer deadline has ended, no doubt there will be several managers/pundits/players voicing the view that the transfer windows are pointless and you should be able to buy whom you want whenever you want to. Can’t help but think Harry Redknapp will be shouting from the rooftops on this subject.

By the end of the month you can guarantee that Mario Balotelli will have thrown his first/second/third strop of the season already. Do not be surprised if he does something silly early on much to the disgust of Roberto Mancini and his team-mates who secretly will want him to lose it, even at their expense.

Oh and lastly Fernando Torres will score his first goal of the season, at home to Norwich in the Blues third game of the new season, and Stamford Bridge almost comically will go into raptures celebrating his tap-in (that even Emile Heskey could have scored) like it was a 30-yard volley.

As for Mr Ambramovich, he won’t be there to see the goal in the flesh as he’ll be lapping it up on his yacht somewhere in the Mediterranean, like we all wished we could do. As for Manchester United, well we’re start the season well, Rooney will score a couple early on and Park Ji-Sung will get his customary goal at home against Arsenal – which probably will be the only thing I’ll get right this month.

By Adam Dennehey @ADennehey87

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